https://www.youtube.com/watch?
Joan gave a great speech. Transcript below:
The Death of a Friend
Dorothy Marsden - 17 January 1919 to 19 June 2020.
Were it not for Corona Virus restrictions, this Church where we are gathered today, would
be bursting at the seams. There would be standing room only and crowds would be
outside looking through the windows and doors.
A great many of Dorothy Marsden’s former pupils would have been in that crowd - drawn
together by their love of an exceptional woman who taught and lived for 39 years at
Ipswich Girls Grammar School. Her influence and impact as a teacher and boarding
mistress during those years were such that a vast number of her students remained her
life-long friends. For most of us, Dorothy walked on hallowed ground.
I speak today as a former pupil of Marsy, as we most affectionately called her, and as a
friend who was privileged to know Dorothy over the last twenty years of her life. My
husband Maurie, and my two children also count Dorothy as a friend, having spent many
convivial lunches with her in our home.
The words people use to describe Dorothy are invariably along the lines of “gracious”,
“charming”, “elegant”, “delightful”, “lady-like”. Former students also speak of “the
twinkle in her eye”, “the great example she set”, “the great influence she was”, the fact
that “she was much more to all of us than a teacher”. These outward descriptors point
to the inner beauty of this remarkable woman.
I often felt that her inner beauty was reflected in the flowers she so loved. Any flower
was a joy to her and she delighted in receiving bouquets and bunches. It did not matter if
it were the most extravagant arrangement or one simple flower; Dorothy marvelled at
their beauty and took immense pleasure from them.
She was constant and grateful in her world. She accepted her role in life with an
equanimity that was admirable. When her closest friend Alison Goleby died, Dorothy was
sad but sanguine. She knew she had done all that was possible as a friend and so got on
with her own life.
In her nursing home at Seaton Place, while initially missing her home in Graceville, she
became a friend to those around her. The staff adored her. She would benevolently
survey the dining room there - much as she had done at IGGS - confiding at times that
“this one” wasn’t too happy today, or “that one” was struggling just a little. As always,
her focus was on the welfare of others.
Dorothy’s love of conversation was legendary as was her genuine interest in every aspect
of people’s lives. Before her more recent declines in health, Dorothy could remember
married and maiden names, the names and ages of children, years at IGGS, and
occupations and professions of her students. Truly phenomenal!
To watch her interacting with people was inspiring. She could charm at one hundred
paces and everyone stood a little taller after being in her presence.
Dorothy’s use of language was a joy to hear. Distasteful or bad language was never used
- it wasn’t necessary, such was her command of the Queen’s English. Her diplomatic and
entertaining ways of describing events not to her taste were very amusing.
Her responses such as “We don’t say words like that here” to some bad language in the
boarding house were far more effective than harsh admonitions. This did not mean she
was insensitive to injustices or wrongful behaviour. I personally am grateful for her wise
counsel on how to deal with such issues.
Dorothy was the last of an amazing cohort of women teachers at IGGS - Thalia Kennedy;
Joan Benson; Deidre Brown; Alison Goleby in my time, and others in earlier days. These
women remained close friends and staunch supporters of the school and the Old Girls
Association all their lives. They devoted decades of their lives to young women’s
education.
Dorothy’s teaching legacy, in particular, lies in the scores of girls who learned to speak
and love the French language, as well as to understand France and its culture. Former
students tell of going to France and being able to converse with ease because of the
standard of Marsy’s teaching. Bastille Day was always celebrated with great gusto,
continuing for Dorothy until a few years ago with former students at lunch in the City.
In summing up Dorothy’s influence on my life, I believe I speak for a myriad of her former
pupils when I say:
We first knew Dorothy as a TEACHER and we loved her then - elegant, cultured, gentle,
generous, kind and wise;
She quickly became a ROLE MODEL - one many of us could never emulate; and she
continued to provide the most wonderful example of a life well-lived throughout her entire
life;
For many of us Dorothy also became a MENTOR, providing apt and wise advice and gentle
input without ever realising just how powerful her influence was;
Most preciously however, Dorothy became a trusted and valued FRIEND, one who was
quite beyond compare.
Rest in Peace Miss Marsden. We will always speak your name.
Joan Meecham
Spoken at Dorothy’s funeral 26 June 2020.
Here are some photos which captured the event. Resolution not the best.
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